January 22, 2015

The Tough Stuff

Do you remember the days when you kids are little and the days seemed to last forever? When they demanded your time and attention 24/7 and you weren't sure if you were going to survive until bedtime? When you ran pointless errands just to get everyone out of the house because most of the time a change of scenery made the biggest difference in how the day unfolded.

Do you remember when you thought a stubborn three year old tantrum was the end of the world? I'm here to tell you that my12 year old - almost 13 - is so much worse. Some sort of hormonal switch went off this past year and life in my house has become tense. He is the moodiest, most miserable person I think I have ever met. Everything pisses him off but his younger brother takes the brunt of it. The sly comments, the teasing, the wrestling (which always ends up with someone in tears) ... but saying you dislike your brother so much you wish he would die ... well, that sent me over the edge.

It wasn't pretty. It was loud when all I wanted that night was a peaceful night.

I told him to think about all the people in the world who WISH they had a sibling. To think about all the people in the world who have LOST a sibling and would do anything to get that sibling back. I didn't get to know my brother T, since he was 3 months old when he died. We have no idea what he would be like or who he would become - - and don't you think we'd all like to have that chance, including you? Since he'd be your Uncle? I yelled some more, mostly through tears because I was just. so. angry. I'm not even sure what else I said.

He was sent to his room (it was 8:30pm) and told that I didn't want to see him until the morning. When morning came, he stomped down the stairs and out the door to school when he realized his phone would be gone for the foreseeable future.

I never thought I would say that I miss toddlers. But I really do. In comparison, life was so much simpler back then, even though you thought it wasn't.

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