May 3, 2016

Bothered

I've been in a funk lately. A lot of things have me on edge and very aggravated. It's probably a mid-life crisis of sorts and I'm not considering doing anything drastic but have decided something has to change.

My job is the root of it. I've been doing the same job for a very long time and I'm bored and tired of the office bullshit and career goals I'm supposed to have.  My current career goal is to retire. I stay for the pension, the benefits, and the time off.  Starting over somewhere new sounds like more work than I'm willing to put forth at this stage of the game.  I made all these career choices when I was 18 years old and I'm essentially backed into a corner unless I go back to school to be trained to do something else. Or I can go work at Target.

My interests have changed over the years, as they often do as you age. I'm not longer interested in my job. I'm just not. And I don't see how anything is going to change that.

The Husband told me I looked miserable standing alone at my son's lacrosse game on Friday night. Thanks, Caption Obvious. I am miserable. I had a really long week and a 3 hour total traffic-filled commute that day and I didn't feel like being social. What did you do today? Oh, that's right. You're retired and do nothing all. damn. day. everyday.

This brings us to my other problem:  My Husband. He retired from the police force at the ripe old age of 43 last summer. And he's done nothing since, unless you count posting on Facebook and watching Fox News as doing something. His job was stressful of course and his sleeping was all messed up from working nights for so many years.  I gave him time, plenty of time to work all that out and I didn't nag him at all. However, his help around the house is sporadic and almost never done unless I leave a note.  I know he's a male but he's also 43 years old and we've been married for almost 16 years - I shouldn't have to leave a fucking note. No one leaves me a note to get stuff done. 

I have become very resentful of his lack of effort and his lack of concern over our finances. Yes, we have talked about it (but it's been a while since the last conversation) and I'm always told "a job is coming" but it isn't coming fast enough for me.  We have one son who is entering HS in the fall, will be driving before we know it, and then college with a second son trailing right behind ... and he's just content to sit on the couch all day and watch TV.

An ugly fight is coming and it will not be pretty.

I was intermittently watching one of my favorite movies last night while I was coloring my hair (because for some reason the amount of gray hair on my head has increased ten fold in the past year - can't imagine why that would be!) and cleaning the 2nd floor at the same time and a line from the movie has stayed with me once again:

"I'd rather do nothing and be happy then do something I don't love"


April 29, 2016

Meal Plan - Wk 18

Meal 1: Chicken Divan

Meal 2: Homemade meat sauce/pasta

Meal 3: Homemade Chicken Fingers

Meal 4: Hot Dogs

April 22, 2016

Meal Plan - Wk 17

Meal 1: Grilled Steak

Meal 2: Creamy Ckn Parm - skillet sauce

Meal 3: Macaroni & Beef

Meal 4: Hamburgers




April 21, 2016

Not a Meal Plan Update!

I apologize for the boring blog, if anyone happens to care.  Life has been busy at home now that spring sports are in full swing.  I really enjoy watching my boys play and I'm going to miss it when I no longer have to take anyone to practice or a game.

Bud's lacrosse team hasn't found any competition yet this season as they are currently undefeated at 4-0.  They are beating each opponent about 15-3 at every game.  This weekend they are participating in a tournament with some PA club teams so they will probably get a dose of reality but league-wise, they are doing fantastic!

Boo's soccer team is doing well too. I think they are 2-1-1 with one game canceled due to weather which will be played at a later date. We just had fall soccer tryouts with the new birth year rules in place so we'll see how that all flushes out.  I know a few boys on his team have tried out for area club teams and we're not club team people so we don't be going that route.  Because he has to change teams once again, he's a bit bummed and unsure if wants to continue playing.  So we'll see.

The basement is coming along slowly.  The TVs have been hung and the bar area flooring is almost complete (as of last night).  I found the perfect console tables for under the TVs.  More on them soon.  My Husband is itching to hang some things on the walls but I've begged him to wait until he decides on some glass cabinets he'd like to purchase for his (MANY) car models.  I'm still trying to remember that the space is actually finished now and we can enjoy it!!